makavelli, rest in peace

The Office (USA): S2, E6: the Fight

Feb 22, 2025

It was 2003 when I first heard of Niccolò Machiavelli… sort of.

This was back when Ja Rule, Irv Gotti, and The Murder Inc. crew were beefing with the Aftermath/Slim Shady crew for whatever reason. Ja Rule released a diss track called “Loose Change,” in which he dissed everyone — including innocent people like Eminem’s daughter Hailey, Lil Mo’, Truth Hurts, and Busta Rhymes. I never heard this song, but Busta Rhymes did. In response, he hopped on a diss track called “Hail Mary” with Eminem and 50 Cent and proceeded to completely obliterate Ja Rule’s reputation. Now, this track I did hear.

And it was scathing. Ja Rule, like many rappers, had an infatuation with Tupac. So, the trio made sure to mock this infatuation with the song title, the absolutely sickening music sample, and very, very offensive lyrics. As soon as the eerie, haunting beat drops, Eminem’s voice cuts through with an intro containing the line: "Makavelli, rest in peace.”

Makavelli?

Again, this was 2003: you couldn’t just pull out your smartphone and google things. I had to rely on my 14-year-old context clues. My thought process is below:

The song heavily samples Tupac’s very popular “Hail Mary.”
Makavelli was the pseudonym/stage name Tupac was using before he was killed.
Makavelli sounds Italian.
Mob bosses tend to be Italian.
Rappers like to model themselves after mob bosses.
Makavelli is probably a mob boss.

Cool.

Fast-forward a decade, and I’m now obsessed with Breaking Bad. My heart is shattered because the protagonist/sympathetic antihero that I fell in love with is actually the villain. Walter White, a supportive father and cancer survivor, willingly puts a young child in danger so that he can manipulate his business partner into helping him kill their kingpin boss. Any remnant of morality he once had? Gone, like N*Sync.

As I’m sure you know, smartphones were a thing in 2013, so I pulled out mine and debriefed with fan forums and recaps. One adjective came up over and over again in my search: Machiavellian. The term was always used pejoratively and as a substitute for the words manipulative or immoral.

Haven’t I heard this somewhere before?

Before I knew it, I was in a deep information hole about Machiavelli, the man. He wasn’t a mob boss but a politician (the same thing, though), and he pretty much advised rulers in his day to manipulate, kill, and do unscrupulous things as long as they found it politically necessary.

Yep, that was Walter White alright — as well as Tony Montana, Don Corleone, Nino Brown, O-Dog, and Tony Soprano. I tucked this new understanding in my brain for future use. Turns out, I didn’t have to wait long. Because one day in 2017, while watching season two of The Office, I saw these same Machiavellian principles play out spectacularly in a strip mall dojo in Scranton, PA.

Let’s get into it, shall we? 🫴🏾

Machiavelli: the man, the myth, the legend

Let’s set some context first and ground ourselves in the major themes of Machiavelli’s writings. It’s easier to think of his whole vibe as being shady and ruthless, but the reality is a little more complicated than that. Buckle in; this is the real Game of Thrones.

In the 1490s, a very rich family, the Medici Family, completely ran Florence. For all intents and purposes, we can consider the Medicis as a mafia family disguised as bankers that funded Popes, controlled politics, and kept the city under its thumb. But by 1494, their luck ran out. The French invaded Italy, and the Medici guy in charge pretty much surrendered Florence without a fight. The French moved on to take Naples. The people of Florence were left to be disgusted by the Medici’s embarrassing display of cowardice.

After this, Florence became a republic for a couple of decades, meaning that power was shared among elected officials, who were held accountable to the law and the people. It wasn’t a full democracy, but it was pretty good for the sixteenth century. This was the environment in which Machiavelli thrived, working as a diplomat and government official for the republic.

🪳 But, like cockroaches, the Medici family found their way back and retook Florence by force in 1512. The republic collapsed, and Machiavelli found himself on the losing side. He was arrested, tortured, and exiled. The man was sick about it. He loved politics the way… well… the way I loved makeup before I was also tortured and exiled. 🙃

So, what did Machiavelli do while bored and unemployed? He started writing. (ohmigosh, same!) He wrote The Prince in 1513 in an attempt to get back in the good graces of the Medici family. It’s pretty much a playbook for autocrats on how to gain and keep power, which is why it is aptly named The Prince. It’s almost as if he’s begging: I know you hate me, but please let me be useful to you.

This, I do not relate to. I do not beg to be wanted. I will just leave, as I’ve proven time and time again.

Here are my key takeaways:

It’s safer to be feared than loved. Machiavelli suggested that human loyalty is fickle and contingent upon circumstances. People are generally more motivated by their personal interests than by a sense of duty or gratitude. This means that, in good times, loyalty is easily given. But in times of adversity, self-preservation takes precedence. Fear, on the other hand, creates a more consistent form of motivation because it is rooted in the instinct for self-preservation.
The ends justify the means. Fortune is a wild, unpredictable force, but it tends to favor those who take risks and act decisively rather than those who hesitate. Leaders who are bold, aggressive, and willing to take action will be able to bend fortune to their will. This means that a ruler should be willing to lie, manipulate, and even kill if that’s what’s necessary to maintain stability. If you gotta be a little evil to keep things running smoothly, then fine.

Get it? Got it? Good. Let’s move on to the show.

Episode Synopsis: New King Kenya Version (NKKV)

After a hilarious cold open, the main episode opens with a shot of Jim and Dwight. Both men appear to be on the phone:

JIM: [On the phone] Right, oh let me just check the pricing list. Hold on one second...
DWIGHT: [also on the phone] Sensei, hello, it's Sempai...
JIM’s head snaps in DWIGHT’s direction at the mention of “sensei”
JIM: [on phone] Umm...You know what? Let me give you a call right back. I'm going to uh, find it and then I'll call you back, thanks.
JIM’s eyes laser focus on DWIGHT
DWIGHT: Yes, I just had a ques-... Yes Sensei. Arigatou gozaimashita. Hai. [hangs up sadly]
JIM: Was that your mom?
DWIGHT: No, that was my Sensei.
JIM: Oh, I thought it was your mom.

Dwight shares that he has joined a karate dojo and has recently been promoted to purple belt. Jim immediately uses this information to prank and mock Dwight. Jim is still questioning Dwight’s fighting experiences when Michael saunters by:

DWIGHT: No women or children, unless provoked.
JIM: Ok, Roy?
DWIGHT: Warehouse guy. Doesn't count.
JIM: Ok. Michael? Could you beat up Michael?
MICHAEL: Yeah, yeah, I don't think that would happen.
DWIGHT: Because we're friends.
MICHAEL: Because I would kick his ass.

Dwight is blindly loyal to Michael. In his head, sure, he could physically dominate Michael, but he wouldn’t do his boy like that. His love for Michael keeps him from fully flexing his power. Michael, on the other hand, has both the structural power and the love of his employees. But, in true Machiavellian fashion, Michael does not see the love as “enough.” He must also instill fear in Dwight so that he relinquishes the idea that he could ever beat Michael up.

But why isn’t love enough?

Machiavelli would say that it’s because your affection for a person is fickle and will most likely crumble when times get tough. Fear, however, is constant. Michael, whether consciously or not, understands this. Love might make Dwight want to stay loyal, but fear and humiliation ensure he has to.

And that’s the trick, isn’t it? Fear makes people hesitate. It makes them second-guess their own strength. It makes them shrink. It makes them stay.

Well, it didn’t make me stay. I would tap dance for Ja Rule’s loose change in the Subway system before I let anyone humiliate and manipulate me repeatedly. I’m way too important to ever let them slide on me again.

Power games only work if you agree to play. That’s the part they don’t tell you. The person holding power over you only holds it because you believe they do. The moment you decide their approval isn’t currency you care about, their system collapses. They will try harder. They will yell louder. They will push further. Because they need you to believe. But they’re only that loud because they’re afraid you’ll stop listening.

So, are you dreading Monday? Is your boss an asshole? Hold your head up. Look them in the eye and speak first. There’s nothing more intimidating than that.

Until next time,